Wind, sicknes and Philosophy

I am taking a little break from writing my final philosophy paper to talk about, well I don't know ... anything.

Its quite cold out today. I can hear the wind pressing against my windows. I have the pellet stove running on full blast down in the living room, but the chill just wont seem to leave. I have secluded myself into my brothers bedroom where the small space heater is keeping me warm. I am taking full advantage of the fact that he is not home by using his brand new Sony Vaio laptop - which he stood online for 5 hours outside of Best Buy on black Friday to purchase. I'll tell ya, when that kid wants something, there's no stopping him from getting it.

I am really dreading writing the rest of my philosophy paper. Sure, I'm great at writing papers - but only when I am really interested in the topic. I have to write this paper about Spinoza's claims for the unity of substance. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

On top of this chilly, windy, freezing day - I feel absolutely horrible. My head is congested, and I can barley breathe. I blame the weather. I'd kill - literally, so stay away - to be on a warm beach some place, reading a good book and letting my pale, white skin bake in the sun. Maybe living in Jersey this summer won't be so bad, since I'll be just a few minutes from the beach. Plus, Michelle has a killer in-ground pool that I plan on taking full advantage of. I almost used an exclamation point at the end of that sentence. I hate when people do that. Are you really exclaiming out loud what you have typed? Doubtful.

I haven't eaten yet today. That's not good considering its all ready 11:30am. I should have at least ate breakfast or something. But, then again, I really am not feeling so hot today. Not sure how much food I could really stomach right now. Besides, Kim just got her job back at the bar down the street. And do you know what that means? Free lunch for Kelly! (ok, I really did just exclaim that out loud) ... So, I think I'll wait to eat until about 12:30, then go down the road and eat a burger and fries, courtesy of the Tiwn Willows.

Stonger

It's been a while since I've made a post, and I think it's time to start writing again.

Change is in the air, and I like the way it feels.

I am about a week away from my college graduation and I have so many feelings running through me. I'm thrilled at the idea of never having to write another re-search paper, read another book that I have no interest in or wake up early for an 8am fitness class. I can't wait to never have to buy another text book, eat stinky cafeteria food and search for parking spots ten minutes before class.

I'm nervous about the prospects of finding a career in my field. I know that it's hard out there and a lot of college graduates are having trouble finding jobs. But, I have a plan. After graduation I am moving to New Jersey to live with my sister. There, ill be working for her and her husband with things that are related to Journalism. Hopefully, after doing that - my sister will help me put together an awesome resume that will land me a good job. I'm already crossing my fingers.

I'm slightly sad at the idea of leaving PA. I have so many good friends here- people that I will love for the rest of my life. I have the best friend I could ever ask for- Lindzee. Even though we are such different people in so many ways, there is something about our friendship that just clicks. She knows all my flaws- my imperfections, and has never judged me once about the less-then- perfect decisions that I have made in the last year. It's so comforting to know that there is one person that I can confide in 100% and never worry about them turning their back on me. If your reading this Lindzee, I love you.


I'll also be leaving my Dad and my little brother. Even though I know I'll be coming back to visit them all the time it still makes me sad. The three of us have become a team in the last couple years. We have been through a lot as a family and when it was just the three of us left - we had each others back. I could never put into words how much I love my little brother and how unbelievably proud I am of him. He surprises me everyday with his motivation, creativity, intelligence and hysterical humor. He, like Lindzee, knows everything about me and has always encouraged me to make the right decisions and to be a better person. I really don't think I would be the person I am right now with out Richard.


I have closed a lot of chapters in my life, and I am starting to open some new ones.

Love has taught me a lot in the last year. Love is a hard thing to handle. Sometimes, when you love someone deeply enough, its hard to see that things are falling apart. For a long time, I couldn't see that I was rapidly rolling downhill, and when I hit the bottom - things made sense to me. I knew how I got there, and I knew what I had to do in order to make my way back up. I had to let love go. As I made steps to get back up, It broke my heart in a million pieces to watch him stay down. But in order to have control of our lives, we need to make our own decisions - on our own terms. I made the decision to get myself out, and I am a better person today because of that.



As they say, once one door closes another opens. I think I have opened an entirely new door that will lead me to better things. I will admit that I am afraid of change, but this change is exactly what I need. I am exited about what the future holds for me, and I am proud of the obstacles that I have overcome in the last year. Besides one or two people that know the whole story, I don't think anyone will ever really understand what I've gone through, and what I have rose above. I just know now that with a little encouragement from the people I love - and a lot of believing in my self, I can get through anything.